I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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