Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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