I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
