I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He did a backflip because drugs
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
