Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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