Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
