eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
