at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
