Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
