I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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