I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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