Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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