we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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