i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
