I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Even my vagina gasped.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
