I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
