another moral hangover. fuck.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
