How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
