..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
