can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
