I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
