Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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