I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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