I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
