I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
