captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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