I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
