I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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