So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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