i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
