Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
