Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
