: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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