What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
