To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
