My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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