you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
