So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
