im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
