There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
