dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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