We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
