This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
