Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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