Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
