i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
