I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
