I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
