There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
All the doctor said was why
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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