I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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