He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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