i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
