honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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